Life is all about living at the edge of comfort zone and experiencing the unknown. That’s the perspective which I have developed over the last few years. And it is amazing how our perspective about life changes as we grow old. We start off with some assumptions about the world which falls flat at the face of cruelty and realization of disparity and then we change our perspective and this goes on till the very end. Along the way we encounter several such realizations and develop prejudices and notions which get stuck with us for ever and force us to think only in a particular way, until we hit another realization either on the form of a rude shock or a pleasant surprise.
As I transitioned from a teenager, to a bachelor working professional to a married man, my life took those courses through the myriad assumptions, perspectives and prejudices. But now that I stand at the entrance of yet another important phase of my life, I am yet again experiencing a few realizations and my mind being engulfed by this whirlwind of changing perspectives. On 14th of December 2013, I became a proud father to a lovely little baby girl and hence this marked my beginning of parenthood. But the timing of my daughter’s birth coincided with one of my major outstation professional commitments. As a result, thirteen days after her birth I had to leave my family and ever since them I have been on and off official trips leaving behind sporadic memories of my daughter.
I last saw her on February 6th 2014, and it had been nearly one and half months so I was desperate to sneak off during the Holi vacations to get a glimpse of her and so I did. And the four days I spent with her and my wife were like a god’s blessings to be in a paradise with the most beautiful and caring people in my life. And during this time the new perspectives took shape in my mind which were till now only were in a flimsy state.
As I said on the beginning, life is all about living in the comfort zone. This was fine when it was only about me and my dreams. But now that I have a daughter, for every risk I take I need to think about her future. This is the first realization of parenthood. No matter whatever I do I need to take cognizance of the fact that my actions and decisions should not jeopardize her future. So from being living at the edge I have slightly shifted so that the risk of falling off the edge is reduced.
Yet another realization which dawned upon me was the fact that parents are the role models for their children. So if my daughter considers me as a super dad then I need to act as one. Now this does not necessarily mean that I try to be a super human but it is more about following the right disciplines which can then be imbibed by our children. But as a side effect of this thought, it could also be utilized to develop a skill which you believe in and want your children to inculcate in them. As an example, when I was a kid I wanted to be a singer and a musician and I did have a good voice and a keen sense of music. But as I grew older I lost touch and a few years earlier I realized that my voice has also given up on the width of scales. But somewhere within, I still wanted to be a singer and now after my daughter is born I think this would be a wonderful opportunity for me to prove it to her that her dad is a good singer and perhaps it will result in a mutual motivation to hone our singing skills. So I grabbed this opportunity to hum songs with my daughter whenever she is in my lap. And it really amazes me that it really sooths her when she is fidgety and I pick her up and sing a song for her. It is an amazingly awesome feeling and I am just praying to god that she has got some of my musical genes which will be revealed in the due course.
But the most striking realization I experienced after becoming a parent is this. Whenever we go out we usually encounter scores of poor little girls and women begging in the streets and in traffic signals and being father of a girl child it really melts my heart. I obviously cannot help all of them but as they say, “we should do our bit”. So, as a commencement towards the effort to do my bit, me and my wife have decided that if we ever plan to have another child, then we should go for adopting a girl child.